I feel out of sorts ~Charlotte Greer Slater  7.5.11

‘I feel out of sorts’

What a polite little phrase

For the unrest I feel at every port

For my loss at any phase

Acutely painful is this state of being

Brought forth from who knows where

As if there is a futility in the exercise of seeing

And I must ardently hold back the despair

For this state there is no solution

Only riding out the storm on the horizon

I would squelch it of my own volition

I would do it first for my children

I fear my own depths

I have met the deepest fathom before

It’s as if I cannot cease taking the steps

Down Escher’s staircase to see a little more

The biggest fear is being detected

Feeling like I have failed the ones I love

For I try to keep them protected

From depression’s ugly shove

HIDING OUT Charlotte Greer Slater 7.11

Hiding out in my garden again today

Letting the flowers and bees fuel my creative juices

Attempting to divine what they are trying to convey

Clinging to feelings this environment induces

Do I pick up pencil and sketch?

Address the keyboard to log my thoughts?

Feelings purging and outstretched

urgent questions of how to parlay my mental snapshots

My world is filled with rocks, fossils and bones

Warm fuzzy animals vying for a lap to retain

For these things I feel I have nothing to atone

No apologies necessary for my life arcane

In other circles I feel the need to explain my eccentricities 

I often use the old refrain

I come by it honestly, it’s a family disease

But luckily, friends usually chime in and explain

I look around, pseudo-master of my domain

With a spirit I am unable to contain

Others look on as if I am the peaceable insane.  

Or the eccentric, one in the same.

Hair a mess.

Me, wear a dress?

I must confess,

Only under great duress.

But I have no need for posh frocks,

My breeches and boots fit just fine.

You might say I’m unorthodox

But dress-up just isn’t my shrine

Why don’t you put on a little makeup?

You could borrow something of mine

“Nah”, as I run for my truck

“But she cleans up so nice” mother opines

Friends would die of shock

If I were to don more than mascara

Never on a daily basis around the clock

Making its debut only the rarer

So let me be

And be pleasantly surprised

When on occasion my debutante ways are remembered

And  you will eventually become desensitized

~Charlotte Greer Slater

July 18th 2011

Damp Rises

Damp rises

Flagstones chill under my feet

Rheumatic aches for prizes

Making me crave the heat

Trees stand in the damp looking neglected

Wind demands bare arms to creak

Yet under them I feel protected

Reassuring me it is safe to speak

The ground drinks

Gaping maw to the full

Gullies at the brink

Gravity their pull

The earth submits to the cleansing 

A brutal cold scrubbing

But the trees remain unbending

For the rain is their loving

~Charlotte Greer Slater     1.11

I have been thinking for awhile

About churchyards full of clover

And the man who comes to mow it

Every Thursday afternoon

He knows that once he’s done it

He’ll only do it over

For the clover will just bloom again

Inevitable process and no slow grower

But the clover pays no mind

It only reads its lines

That’s all it knows to do

For nature gave it a script to follow through

Clover only knows to flower

No matter what besets it

In the valiant hope it’s easy

For wandering bees to detect it

We too, should be like clover

Everyone should learn to flower

No matter what besets us

Disregarding the hour

For the sun just keeps on shining

And the man just keeps on mowing

And the clover just keeps on growing

In the same old-fashioned way.

~Charlotte Greer Slater

7.3.11

Blue sky, when are you going to learn to rain?

And let yourself go grey, release all of that pain

Sometimes, when all the light has left the day,

Blue skies have again failed me, much to my dismay

I tell the sky I would join her

If she only would give up the rain

We both could rinse away our pain

And nothing would be in vain

So hurry heat, rise away

Feed the clouds at the end of day

Build a thunderstorm without delay

Deliver thunder and lightning like a valet

But letting go is not our forte

Blue sky and I don’t always agree

So my urges I endeavor to disobey

And I patiently wait for it to rise another degree

~Charlotte Greer Slater    8.17.2011

Bedtime

The light is fading 

Time for growing bodies to slumber

I sing them old lullabies after bathing

Then kiss rosy cheeks, watching consciousness glimmer

When they lay down their golden heads,

I can’t help but linger, 

Reading the excitement of sleep on their dormant little faces

Breathing stertorous, nothing but a murmur

Enter the sleep monitors without delay.

A cat and a corgi to send them on their way

Peaceful dreams furry warm bodies do convey

A comfort only they can parlay

Swiftly, their lithe little bodies take over

Pulling them deeper into much needed sleep

I tell God how I love my little kinder

As I pray for their little souls to keep

~Charlotte Greer Slater 7.7.11

APOLOGIZING:  Does not always mean you are wrong and the other person is right.

It just means you value your relationship more than your EGO.