If I Could

If I could
I would fold myself away
Like a love note saved
for a rainy day.

If I could
I would ride away
like the hero
at the end of the play.

If I could
I would find a way to convey
Like a telegram
important news concisely displayed

If I could
Like a businessman with skills to parlay
I would find my niche
And never stray

If you would
just let me retreat for one day
I would find my center
and be able to act out the play

Really I should just divest myself
of the worry and fret
stop trying to hedge my bets
and just pray.

~Charlotte 6.7.09

Wonderland Lost

There is no Cinderella
Peter Pan is grown
That doesn’t keep him sober
Nor does it keep him home

Old King Cole’s not so merry
His wife’s the Wicked Witch
Red Riding Hood seeks shelter
From her wrath – and her switch

Wonderland is a wasteland
The Giving Tree a stump
Little Bo Peep’s playground
Is a needle-infested dump

Harold grabs his purple crayon
And draws Jonah’s whale
In its belly he finds his haven
A compulsory fairy-tale

~Charlotte Greer Slater 2011

Here lies the body of Charlotte Greer
Whose mouth would stretch from ear to ear
Be careful as you tread this sod
For if she gapes, you’re gone by god

Here lies the body of Charlotte Greer
How she came of it was rather queer
She advises you inspect the boards at the pier
For the boards are not always what they appear
Here lies the body of Charlotte Greer

The opening eye

I close my eyes so we might see
the one I’ve always ignored.
They wait there still for us to be
and for our sight to be restored.
–
Peeling back my lips
exposing muscle, veins and skull,
now over shoulders, chest, and hips
we shed, and now we’ll mull.
–
Layers of armor, useless now,
we will abandon here!
For they weigh us down
and it is time for “I” to disappear.
–
Shrugging off these suits of me
a tedious process, yes.
But when we’re done we all shall see
through these eyes that we possess.

Condemnation

Tripping over thoughts,
stumbling over questions.
Just can’t connect the dots,
keep your fucking suggestions.
–
Searching for the end of infinite,
wading through an ocean of bullshit.
I’ll find my way if it fucking kills me,
crawling up from this cold, dark pit.
–
Their expectations upon my shoulders,
pulling me down to drown like them.
Sailing into crimson waters,
my sun is flickering, getting dim.
–
I hold on tight, but I’m losing grip,
slipping away from my destination.
I feel reality begin to rip,
moments away from dissipation…
and then I let them go.
–
They fall to the flourescent fires,
“Don&’t you fucking know
I have my own desires?”

YOU

You have disappointed me
far more
than you have ever
loved me.

~Charlotte 1996

What of motivation?
unconscious or denied
helps us reach our destination
or at least say we tried

Some hold motivation impure
filled with calculated desire
aimed at increasing tenure
building an empire

the narcissist fuels motivation
harmful thoughts inspired
unleashes it on his target
yielding results his mind conspires

destructive by nature
deliberate in consequence
forethought defter
delivered with poisonous pretense

sample evil incarnate
if you dare
leaving you prostrate
and fighting for air

for the narcissist will always prevail
will wear you down
in all his bent motives entail
delivering your breakdown

~Charlotte Greer Slater
7.30.13