I Want So Many Things

I want so many things

So many things I desperately need

But I cannot succeed

 

I am adrift and desperately looking

Seeking attention

I am nervous ticks

Restless and lost

 

I cannot trust myself

I fear my own impact

I only hope I come out of this intact.

 

I need help

I need my friends

But somehow this minute I am struck mute.

 

I have no escape

I have no car

I am left agape 

At my bleeding scars

 

My body paces

Emotions raw

My heart races

At my chains I gnaw

 

I do not trust myself

I do not know why

When I attempt to divest myself

I feel like a kite that will not fly

 

Watch as I self destruct

Unravel at the seams

My manner I cannot conduct

I have lost touch with my dreams

 

~Charlotte Greer Slater

5.12.09