Oil and Water

11.2.13
So Halloween has come and gone. Chris, in an effort to look magnanimous, acquiesced to
bring the girls to Auntie Nan and Uncle Carl’s per tradition… but with one stipulation.. “The girls
so wanted Trish to come”; Nan responded dryly “Well isn’t that a bit like oil and water?”; Chris
never responded.. but oil and water indeed. Which got me thinking.
When you make a salad dressing, you shake oil and vinegar together and they mix temporarily,
but in no time at all, and under no outside influence, they are separated again. Not through any
fault of either of them, simply the laws of nature.
And so went Trisha’s visit, or maybe we should call it an invasion. The most polite, even
welcoming yet unsatisfactory visit she could have. And Chris’ little dig at me lost in the unlikely
mix.

4.4.2020
As I sat here transcribing the above little piece that I wrote I’m thinking that some contacts might
be necessary. This was after my marriage had fallen apart because of this affair. I must admit
that behind their backs and certainly nowhere near the children we simply referred to Trish as
the paramour because that is simply what he was. We could have told her and Chris the fuck
off to Oblivion. But that only with a confused and hurt my girls and without ever having to say a
word about it Aunt Nan knew exactly what to do and how to respond. If I’d only known what the
future would bring, and how without any regard to the girl’s feelings or mine Chris and Trish
would act to alienate our side of the family. Maybe we all would have been less polite and more
cutting.. but what good would it do?