Out of Sorts

I feel out of sorts ~Charlotte Greer Slater  7.5.11

‘I feel out of sorts’

What a polite little phrase

For the unrest I feel at every port

For my loss at any phase

 

Acutely painful is this state of being

Brought forth from who knows where

As if there is a futility in the exercise of seeing

And I must ardently hold back the despair

 

For this state there is no solution

Only riding out the storm on the horizon

I would squelch it of my own volition

I would do it first for my children

 

I fear my own depths

I have met the deepest fathom before

It’s as if I cannot cease taking the steps

Down Escher’s staircase to see a little more

 

The biggest fear is being detected

Feeling like I have failed the ones I love

For I try to keep them protected

From depression’s ugly shove